I am so sick of looking at this ugly ass blog.  I have too much hair.  I did not get enough sleep last night on account of I can't fucking breathe my nose is all goddamn clogged up.  Ironically, now I can breathe just fine.  I think it's god smiting me because I told him I couldn't believe in him anymore if he made me get my period again.  Dammit.  I can't reach the coffee.  Oh the joys of being sick.

Incidentally, I got a new xanga.  If you want to read it you have to guess what it is.

P.S. This is all a subliminal message that is saying go kill yourselves ass holes becuase I'm sick and can't reach coffee.

P.S.S. I get to meet Bono in 22 days= I wish. However, I do get to be in the same building as he and watch his performance.  

You were the jewel around my neck,

And my words flew so lucidly.

As I ran through fields of morning,

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   Of pink ribbon skies and blood-loving rain.

There, I found loathing and spilling,

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   Empty, winding roads.  Pale white roses

Whose matches were never made.

The sparkling crystal eyes, they dripped,

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   While looking slowly up and down.

No one ever comes, no one ever goes.

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   You asked me to dance,

I could.  I stumbled to the floor.

You were the palette.

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   Your colors meshed together perfectly, they clashed;

But on the canvas you came out to infinity.

The only sound was your breathing,

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   As I sought my inspiration.

Casting a sideways glance,

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   Touched my hand softly, oh so gently.

What’s real and what is not ceases to exist.

It’s not enough.

Your love was a bird.

You smiled so tenderly, kissed me slowly,

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   And spoke;

“I do not tip my hat at you because you know,

I hold my hand in yours because you don’t.”

A faint glimmer in your universe of flurry,

http://corpsebridemovie.warnerbros.com/" title="http://corpsebridemovie.warnerbros.com/" target="_blank"http://corpsebridemovie.warne...

WOOOO check that out bitches. Tim Burton=genius of my life. 

Donde esta I'm happy.

Romeo.  [Coming forward]  He jests at scars that never felt a wound.

[Enter Juliet at window.]

But soft!  What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the East, and Juliet is the sun!

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief

That thou her maid art far more fair than she.

Be not her maid, since she is envious.

Her vestal livery is but sick and green,

And none but fools do wear it.  Cast it off.

It is my lady!  O, it is my love!

O, that she knew she were!

She speaks, yet she says nothing.  What of that?

Her eye discourses, I will answer it.

I am too bold; 'tis not to me she speaks.

Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,

Having some business, do entreat her eyes

To twinkle in their spheres till they return.

What if her eyes were there, they in her head?

The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars

As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven

Would through the airy region stream so bright

That birds would sing and think it were not night.

See how she leans her cheek upon her hand!

O, that I were a glove upon that hand,

That I might touch that cheek!

Come On Eileen
Come On Eileen

Poor, old Johnnie Ray
sounded sad upon the radio
he moved a million hearts in mono
our mothers used to sing along
who'd blame them?

You've grown, (you're grown up) 
So grown(so grown up)
now I must say more than ever
(Come on Eileen) Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye Aye 
And we can sing just like our fathers

Come on Eileen, oh I swear (well he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
you in that dress, oh my thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty
Ah, come on Eileen

(Come on Eileen)

These people round here 
wear beaten down eyes
Sunk in smoke dried faces
Resigned to what their fate is
But not us, (no never) no not us (no never)
We are far too young and clever

(Remember) 
Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye Aye      
Eileen, I'll hum this tune forever
Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye Aye
Eileen, I'll hum this tune forever

Come on Eileen, oh I swear (well he means)
Ah come on, let's take off everything (everything)
That pretty red dress, oh Eileen (tell him yes)
Ah, come on lets
ah, come on Eileen

Come on Eileen, oh I swear (well he means)
At this moment, you mean everything 

Come on, Eileen Taloo-Rye-Aye
Come on, Eileen Taloo-Rye-Aye
Toora, Toora, Too-Loora
Oh, Eileen
I said come on, Eileen [Come on, Eileen Taloo-Rye-Aye] 
Oh, come on, Eileen [Come on, Eileen Taloo-Rye-Aye]
[Toora, Toora Too-Loora]
We are far too young and clever
And things won't ever change

And I say 
Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye Aye
Come on, Eileen oh 
I swear that you mean 
at this moment you mean everything to me
oh Eileen
oh Eileen
You mean everything

Haha I am awesome.  Save Ferris = awesome.  Yes I KNOW they did not write the song but they did a

pretty brilliant cover if you ask me.

Bah fucking Humbug

BRAVO! Beautiful splendid marvelous lovely tremendous compelling exciting phenominal

The Phantom of the Opera kicked my ass hard core. One of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed! Mmmm declicioso!

Words have no feeling
Without loaded meanings
Words take too long to come across
Meanings are meant for
Defining definitions
We load them for effect
It's cheap but it's working
It's the best I've got to get your attention
I could never get your attention
I could never please you
These verses are wasted
On words you won't relate to
On words you'll never hear

It's not working- I don't feel any better
I don't feel so well
The verbal breakdown has failed
So I'm whispering secrets
Hush, hush on the loudspeaker
Words sculpted on verse
Become absurd
but it's the best I've got to get your attention
I could never get your attention
I could never please you
Words so sympathetic
Symphonic, yet- pathetic
Are tossed on to the song

The meaning is lost
Words just won't work
Words are slowly demeaning
Their meanings
Words make things worse
Words are always repeating
Losing their feeling
These words failed 
Words fail

What the hell is the point in writing in this anyway?! ::shoots someone::

 Weeeeeee I loveth my Justin beautifulness. :D

Mandy: "And the nominees for best leading actress in a production are , Gina Massaro playing Romeo in Romeo and Juliet. Gina Massaro playing Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. Gina Massaro, playing Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet..."
Mandy: that would be one interesting awards show.

That was lovely Mandy. WHO I LOVE and she has no life so love her.

I LOVE HOBBY LOBBY AND JUSTIN AND COFFEE AND PIE AND ERIN AND AMANDY AND CATCHER IN THE RYE

THE BEAUTIFUL FINDING NEVERLAND DID NOT COME OUT TODAY ::SOBS:: YEAH...WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT. 

GOT A NEW SCARF TODAY HIS NAME'S MERCUTIO.  

Sassafrass: n. 1. A deciduous North American tree (Sassafras albidum) having irregularly lobed leaves and aromatic bark, leaves, and branches.    & nbsp;  2.  The dried root bark of this plant, used as a flavoring and a source of a volatile oil.

Oy with the poodles, already.

I just wanted to write.  After a semi-crap day, I have just returned from therapy.  Practically chugged a grande carmel machiatto from Starbucky's  and now in my head live vivid images of myself puking all over the floor. 

Nancilee and I had a swell talk today.  People need to learn to manage their emotions better.  I think if all these negative emotions could be turned into contentment everyone would feel better.  I hate this negative shit.  It all makes me crazy.  I feel like I can't even live in my own skin sometimes.  And everytime these crazy negative emotions take me over I could drive myself crazy overanalyzing the things that people say.  I take one statement and stretch it waaaay out to where the original idea is practically nonexistent in my brain.  Not to mention the things that are not said.  Me.  I can't do anything for myself.  And those fucking fairy tales that have gotten this unrealistic idea of how love is supposed to be into my head. Makes me feel like everything in my own is completely wrong.  And it's not.  Everything is perfectly fine.   There's that.  And then there's looking at the relationship that my parents have.  I don't know.  The things that everyone go through in their lives all happen for a reason.  I don't ever want anyone to feel sorry for me.  I don't want to be a burden on anyone.  There are only so many times that I can say how shitty I feel without getting scoffed at.  It's different than that.   When you feel it it's different.  It's stupid.  All of it. 

Something Corporate-Konstantine

I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
when the lights are turned down low.
And I don't understand all the things you've seen
but I'm slipping in between
you and your big dreams.
It's always you,
in my big dreams.

And you tell me that it's over,
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers..
and you're restless, and I'm naked.
You've gotta get out,
you can't stand to see me shaking,
no.
Could you let me go?
I didn't think so

And you don't wanna be here in the future,
So you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past.
And you don't wanna look much closer
cause you're afraid to find out all this hope,
you had sent into the sky by now had crashed.
And it did,
because of me.

And then you bring me home,
afraid to find out that you're alone.
And I'm sleeping in your living room,
but we don't have much room to live.

I had these dreams that I learned to play guitar
maybe cross the country,
become a rock star.

And there was hope in me that I could take you there
but dammit you're so young,
well I don't think I care.
And if I hurt you,
then I'm sorry.
Please don't think that this was easy

Then you bring me home
cause we both know what it's like to be alone
and I'm dreaming in your living room
but we don't have much room to live

And Konstantine is walking down the stairs,
doesn't she look good
standing in her underwear?
And I was thinking,
what I was thinking,
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere.

My Konstantine came walking down the stairs,
and all that I could do is touch her long blonde hair.
And I've been thinking,
it hurts me thinking that these nights
when we were drinking no they never got us anywhere.
no

This is because I can spell konfusion with a k
and I like it.
It's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it.
It's to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car,
when the first star you see may not be a star..
I'm not your star.
Isn't that what you said?
What you thought this song meant

And if this is what it takes,
just to lie in my mistakes
and live with what I did to you
and all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock
it's 11:11
and now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
you'll always be my Konstantine

Konstantine, they'll never hurt you like I do
no they'll never hurt you like I do
no, no, no no no no no no

This is to a girl who got into my head,
with all the pretty things she did.
hey-
you know-
You keep me up in bed.
This is to a girl who got into my head,
with all the fucked up things I did.
hey-
maybe-
baby..
You could keep me up in bed
My Konstantine
You spin around me like a dream, we played out on this movie screen
and I said
did you know I missed you?
Oh god I miss you.

And then you bring me home
And we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no.
And you'll kiss me in your living room, 
I know
you'll miss me in your living room. 
cause these nights I think maybe that I'll miss you in my living room..
We don't have much room, 
I said does anybody need that room?
because we all need a little more room
to live.

.My Konstantine.

Sooo yuh. I'm bored and all.  Plus I got really sick of looking at that On the Waterfront entry.  I have actually nothing remotely interesting to say. I am going to the opera.  That's why I look so fancy right now.  My date and I are going to ride in a limousine there.  And then we'll drink fancy beverages and all.   ... Interesting right?  I try using my imagination.  I'm goingto tell you crazy niutcases that read this a story. 

Don't read this if you have any sanity whatsoever.

Once upon a time there was this woman who was addicted to heroin and her name was Konstantine. She wasn't really addicted to heroin but everyone thought she was because she had all these needle scars in her veins and she acted fucked up all the time.  but  what was really wrong with her was that she had this disease where she had to inject medicine into her veins to make her better.  But really it was an incurable disease so her taking the (heroin) medicine didn't really matter.  Anyway she met this raven and his name was Nevermore (sound familiar? ^_^)  . Nevermore was a pretty friendly raven and they could communicate just by looking at each other.  She had these special bird reading powers or something.  Nevermore informed her that if she would accompany him to ... Foreverland he would find her true love and she would live the reainder of her short life and she would know real happiness.  So she aid okay cause she really didn't have much else to do with herself.  Nevermore led Konstantine to a big, old, dead garden.  There was this old swing made out of wood that was hanging very unstably froma tree.  Konstantine approached the old swing, laid one hand on the rope when she noticed someone sitting on it.  He was a total babe and his name was Vincent. I'm definitely done with this story cause I don't feel like typing anymore, but I'll give you the end in a nutshell.  Vincent and Konstantine and Nevermore lied all together in the garden and the garden also had a big ferris wheel that they rode on every day cause it made them super happy.  Until one day Konstantine fell off the old swing that she loved and died.  She didn't even die from the disease.  Vincent and Nevermore were really sad and they stabbed themselves cause they felt they should pull a Romeo and Juliet.  The end.

Hahah I should be aprofessional storyteller for a living.  I'm so tired.  Won't someone please come to my rescue? Or I die. I'm definitely done now.  

To comment on 'On the Waterfront':

On the Waterfront is an amazing film starring Marlon Brando.  It is considered the number two best film of all time.  Although it is a great story, I believe what puts the movie together is Marlon Brando.  Acting of our day is absolutely incomparable.  Acting of any day is incomparable.  GOD HE IS SO AMAZING!  If you want to view REAL acting, I mean a completely indescribable acting job, this is it.  It's the kind of acting that makes the viewer just shake their head in awe. 

"I could've had class.  I coulda been a contender.  I coulda been something.  Instead of a bum.  Which is what I am, let's face it."

Last Cigarette: Mmmm.. cigarettes *yarks everywhere.* Never will I lay my hands on that shit.
Last kiss: Today!
Last cry: Today!
Last library book checked out: Warhol: Modern Masters        & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;   

Last Movie seen in a theatre: The Manchurian Candidate KICK ASS.
Last Book Read: The Perks of Being a Wallflower THE GREATEST BOOK EVER EVER.
Last Cuss Word Uttered: fuuuuck
Last Beverage Drank: Jugo de naranja
Last food consumed: peanut butter

Last phone call: Phone? We don't have phones heere.
Last TV show watched: Show...OH! A thing on the history channel about Science Fiction.

Last time showered: terday. I know a big surprise.
Last shoes worn: these huge high heels that make me around ten feet taller.

Last CD played: Senses Fail whuddya think?
Last Soda Drank: haha I never drink soda. I mean it. But I had a mountain dew livewire a few days ago and was running around screaming "burgular."
Last thing written: "beause this time he didn't htink he could reach the kitchen."
Last key used: down arrow key
Last words spoken: *laughter*
Last slept: last night
Last IM: two freaking seconds ago
Last ice cream eaten: I can't remember
Last time wanting to die: DIE? Never.
Last lipstick: hahaha&nbs p;Noo idea. 
Last time dancing: Today! Led Zeppelin.
Last show attended: ..Incubus!
Last thing you smelled: Justin!
Last annoyance: Like an hour ago.
Last disappointment: Likewise.
Last time scolded: today for being "so understanding" at my mother.
Last Shirt Worn: I don't wear shirts.

Last website visited: yahoo-ooo
Last song you listened to: "The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most" by the other love of my life.
Last person that made your heart skip a beat: My Justin.

Last movie watched: Edward Scissor fingers.

Watch it with anyone: my couchy.
Last time you went to the mall: like a month ago
Last person you wished you could "do": my boyfriend. 
Last person you missed: Chris Carrabba
Last CD you bought: Senses Fail!!!!!!!!

Last beautiful thing you saw: Everything I see is beautiful.

Last lyric stuck in your head: Haha quite a few. Well there's "So let me take this medicine to quench my love for violent things.." and " TAAAAAAAAAAKE MEEEEEEEEEE OONNNNNNNNNNNNN" and there's "when I think of all the crap I learned in high school..."

If you read that whole thing I pity you because you obviously have a more freaking boresome life than I.

Hahaha. Here's me and my OCD. I swear. And I never even noticed-until Justin pointed out that I eat my M&M's in a freakish way.

My OCDness:

1. I separate all my M&Ms out by color and then eat them brown, yellow, orange, green, blue, red. I do this with skittles as well. I have always done this. 

2. All my CDs/books are in alphabetical order. Facing the same way.

3. Even worse, I alphabetize other people's CDs.

4. I wash my hands around a hundred times day. Sometimes even  between classes. I just always feel germy or something. Hahaha.

And now I'm too tired to think anymore. But isn't that funny?  

Ohh man I hate neighborly bonding time. I was at this crazy barbeque at my neighbor's house, and like the entire neighborhood was there and my dad and I are just kind of sitting away from everybody, we are the antisocials, watching everybody play volleyball and get wasted. So I left and I"m going to go back later when everyone's eating.

Yesterday was so rad. We had family fix at Jamie's. Played Soul Calibur and all haha. After everybody left, Keri, Britney, and Auntie Glo came over. We went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of shit to keep us awake all night. {Red Bull, Double Shot Espresso (AKA The 'Glen' drink) P ixie sticks, coffee..} Did a couple of...what the hell is that Creed guy's name? Impressions of him. We rule. After that watched Something's Gotta Give and Pulp Fiction. Super tired because those demanding parents of Jamie and I's wanted us at home at around 4 a.m. (9 o'clock.)

Today I listened to my grandmother talk about how I'm "disrespectful". Ha what a joke. Then my dad and I went and purchased some more film for my camera and we went to this BEAUTIFUL field of sunflowers. It was the most spectacular thing I've ever seen.

Here In My Room by Incubus is the song I want to lose my virginity to.

YES TOMORROW I GET THE NEW SENSES FAIL CD. *Licks them billions of times.*

We love this song around here. AND it's in Napoleon Dynamite.

When In Rome- The Promise

If you need a friend,
don't look to a stranger.
You know in the end,
I'll always be there.

And when you're in doubt,
and when you're in danger,
Take a look all around,
and I'll be there.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
But if you wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you I will.

When your day is through,
and so is your temper,
You know what to do,
I'm gonna always be there.

Sometimes if I shout,
it's not what's intended.
These words just come out,
with no gripe to bear.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
But if you wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
And if I had to walk the world, that make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will.

I gotta tell ya, I need to tell ya, I gotta tell ya, I gotta tell yaaaa ...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
But if you wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you...

Hola, I'm Mangy.

Gina is the most spectacular person...ever. I love her more than YOU. muaha.

We had a very grand weekend. First, Gina came over and we went to a really lame block party, where we ate jellyfish, listened to a suck-ass band, and I spilled this unknown jello cake stuff in Gina's lap. We also ate flamin hot munchies, and walked around the block 214 times. Then we hopped in the car and went to the gas station on the way to wal-mart, where we saw Jessica Simpson having a rough time trying to figure out what kind of gas to fill her car with. When we reached wal-mart, we looked at jewelry, maternity clothes (Gina's pregnant), and we saw Usher. On the ride home, we had a dance-off in the car, and I dropped my gum. We didn't find it until later, when I discovered the gum on my pants. (haha)

Before we fell asleep, I watched Gina have seizures over Chris Carrabba, and we watched Family Guy and Hal Sparks.  And Existentialism on prom night is the greatest, most beautifully addicting song ever.

In the morning, we watched a little bit of Batman (welcome home frost face) and played Pac-man, Galaxian (We are Galaxians. Our Mission: Destroy Aliens), Dig Dug- a game that Gina was especially great at because she would freak out and kill all the wreaths/dinosaurs and flying face people.We also got to play Rally X, which I was very good at. (haha)

I like Gina more than -points- you, and you, and even you.